Therapy is the modern word for shamanic healing. We go there to step on a magic land — the one where we open the book of our stories and secrets. We sail through the river of our trauma, and learn to ripe the golden fruits of our talents, purposes, and gifts.
To decide to go to therapy is a big step, still one we often hesitate to take. I know this because I’ve been there. After a year of indecisiveness, overthinking, and moments of hopelessness — one day I found myself standing behind the suspenseful door in my therapist’s office.
Therapy is what happens behind the curtain in the theatre of life
Someone once said that therapy is what’s happening behind the curtain in the theatre of life — where the true colors of our being come to life. Everything is raw and exactly as it is.
This is exactly how I felt, like I was soon to be entering the mystic world behind the curtains. A place that is forbidden, a place where one finds secrets that change one’s life.
My grandparents worked in theater, so I knew that entering behind the curtains is like an initiation. It is seeing the process from within. This is a form of disillusionment that allows us to accept the dichotomy of life, to accept life as it is, and not only the perfect and surface image of it.
Behind the curtains of life is a place of truth. We see our true selves — nothing is staged about ourselves. We are no longer required to pretend, to wear costumes and masks.
This way, a therapy session is where we learn to show our true self, to meet our true self, knowing it will never be brought on the stage of life. It is just like a theatrical piece — what happens behind the curtain is a mystery that remains there forever.
Through my experience I discovered for myself the beauty of therapy. I went from hesitation to excitement, from admiration to hate. I wanted to share the wisdom I gathered from this transformational yet powerful journey I am still undertaking.
Here are the 3 powerful reasons why therapy works:
1. therapy is having someone to connect to
Therapy is like a chemistry reaction — 2 people meet, and as a result of this meeting something new is created, something is transformed.
It is not only about sharing our feelings with someone, but also about how the therapist responds, how he can embrace those feelings in a hug and contain them — and this is what makes us feel heard and accepted.
therapy is a transformational process that helps us grow beautifully into our true Self.
I remember one of the main reasons I chose the therapist I am seeing now is because I thought this person will be able to contain me. I saw myself relaxing in an embrace of acceptance and wisdom.
A crucial moment in therapy is when what we feel and what we are is finally being validated by someone. Our storms, as well as our magnificence finally meet someone who can understand and have the capability to take us in wholly and gracefully.
This is why therapy is so important. This is where true alchemy occurs — to share something with another human being and have it seen, understood, and transformed. And this is what is missing when we try to heal by ourselves.
To be willing to heal by yourself is a courageous thing. It takes courage to embark on a journey where one only sees a couple steps in front. Even though meditation, journaling, reading are great helpers, and sometimes the only ones available at the moment, still having someone to talk to, to connect, and to feel seen by can be truly a healing experience.
2. therapists as mediators between our own emotional states
Very often, an inner conflict is caused by some kind of polarity of feelings. It could be the inner parent and the inner child that cannot get along. It could be our desires and our fears that restrict us from action. Also, it could be our anger and feelings of guilt.
These opposite emotional states act like contrasting forces in our psyche and create the conflict often we are not even aware about. This is where the therapist comes in handy — being there as a mediator between conflicting emotional states.
The therapist can help break the vicious cycle of the inner conflict by:
- seeing the reason why we have conflicting feelings. We might be blind to these conflicts as a result of protective mechanisms, but the therapist is capable of seeing them.
- standing between our conflicting feelings and negotiating peace.
- guiding us gently towards understanding and compassion.
- supporting us in making peace with ourselves.
3. therapy is about finding the true YOU
In the age of information, sometimes we might become lost within all the terms, theories, and labels just like a little boat amongst the waves. It is important, in such moments, to make little steps towards meeting the true you.
How do you know who is the true you?
You know those moments when you accidentally hear a song you were listening to when you were in love? In those moments, no matter how much time has passed you remember a part of yourself. And you think “wow, this part of me I didn’t remember for such a long time”.
We have a lot of fragments of ourselves that we “forgot” — that are buried deep within our unconscious and hidden there.
how the mind works: why it hides and blocks our memories
Our mind does it for several reasons, the main one being that the memory caused us some pain. Some memories awaken the trauma — of abandonment, rejection, feeling unloved and worthless; other memories awaken strong emotions we cannot contain at the moment — fear, guilt, shame.
Our mind does it to protect us, but this phenomenon also hides and blocks parts of ourselves, of our true personality.
People create whole new personalities to protect themselves from pain, totally forgetting about themselves, about their soul. We try to hide behind the mask of intellect and reason to avoid the pain and the feelings of guilt and shame. The more we try to run from ourselves the more we are turning outward. Because away from the pain also means away from the soul.
healing the trauma means turning inwards
It is being vulnerable and moving towards the true you. It is a brave journey to the underground of the psyche, where having a guide by our side is much needed and helpful.
This is why therapy is like learning life all over again. We learn to walk on our own path with braver steps. We learn to speak through our own words — to speak from the soul. An finally, we start moving away from labels and rules and expectations. We discover our power and move closer and closer to our world within.
